I am still learning
Thanks for taking a look at my blog, I know it's pretty sparse now, but I'm thinking I just have to start writing about my day, experiences, and just random things that come to mind, if I ever want to get in the habit of writing everyday. Plus, I've been told I can be rather witty, so hopefully I can bring a little smile to your day as well :)
I originally started this blog because I love to write, I have a BA in English, and was always a little bookworm, but honestly, my undergrad kind of killed the love of reading and writing for me - was it the million books I had no desire to read, or the million essays I had no interest in writing? - either way, I lost that love, and I feel like I lost a little piece of me with it. So I'm here to find that ABC shaped puzzle piece again - I hope you enjoy!
Basically, I'm going to try to blog each evening about the present day, or (if I've forgotten/not had time to/decided to eat my way into a coma instead of writing) I will write the following day. Today, I'll be covering yesterday, and today - so buckle up, I can write novels, people! I'm hoping to fill you in on things that resonated with me, things that were off for the day, interesting things I come across, etc., in hopes that you can find some similarities (or even better, differences) in your yoga/life journey! Please, please, pleeeease feel free to comment, or send me a message if anything resonates with you and you want to chat further - always up for a good conversation! That being said, here it goes!
So yesterday was actually a pretty awesome Monday - how often can we say that?! Woo! I woke up feeling a little rushed, but I had an absolutely wonderful time teaching adults, wee ones, and youth, so I'd count myself as quite a lucky one! I even got a massage AND had meditation practice - bomb Monday! Take away from yesterday: let it go. I felt so much more at peace with how my classes were going when I just read the situation, and let things happen naturally and organically. Things just seemed to fall into place, it was so empowering! Unfortunately, I am usually in that headspace that if things don't go to plan, then I've failed in some way - but what's with that? Isn't it more interesting and more of a learning experience when things go wrong, and you have to think on your feet, adjust, and adapt to what's going on? You'd think as a teacher (of children, not just yoga) that I would have learned to adapt a whole lot sooner, but the truth is, children are so dependant on routine, that I think I'd kind of put myself into that space as well.
I haven't even been in a classroom full-time since September, but I think I've still been treating my classes kind of like a classroom, and that's the whole reason I left that career in the first place. So here I am, 9 months into my yoga teaching journey (since graduation) - a pregnancy's worth of time - and I'm still learning so much about myself with everyday that passes. I feel like yoga has really helped me, and continues to help me, to discover brand new things about me, and I don't know that I would learn quite as much, were I not on this path. When we are so focused on our careers, we lose sight of ourselves, who we really and truly are, but with yoga, we are focusing so much on the inner self, that we often get these glimpses and insights that we may have never found otherwise. As I teach, I begin to listen to myself, and what I want others to find in themselves and in their practice, I also want to find in myself and in my practice. It's a beautiful thing that I get to tune in each day, and I hope that my students are getting some of the same benefits from being in my classes. It feels weird to even say that I am a yoga teacher, as I find myself being more of student the more I travel this path - how lovely, right?! Whether you are a yogi, a runner, an intellect, a parent, a business person, or any other combination of those many hats we wear each day, don't forget that under that hat is YOU. You are uniquely you, there is no other you, so don't be afraid to take some time and get to know yourself. To learn, to grow, to breathe! Take that time, whether it be on a yoga mat, or not, I couldn't care less, just be the student, be YOUR student, and see what you can find.
Today, I had a harder time letting things go. I have pain in both shoulders, I'm feeling tired constantly despite getting lots of sleep last night, and my brain just can't see to focus. I felt like I put too much energy into my practices today. I expected too much of myself, but also of my students. I feel like I put them through more than was necessary, and didn't listen to my body or theirs when it was time to back off, and instead pushed the envelope a little bit. I know that it's not right. We can't just push and hope for the best. That can lead to injury, a lack of confidence, and just a plain unenjoyable experience for all parties involved. I caught myself a couple of times, thinking, "what are you doing?" or "this is too much, back off," and at that point, I tried to listen. I tried to let the pride of what I was doing go. But it's not so simple, our egos take hold, and it takes a bit more to bring ourselves down from that. So my take away from today? I am still learning. And that, is perfectly normal. We are all going to have days where we can't seem to take control, and if we can take just two minutes to stop, breathe, and reign ourselves back in, then we can take from and learn from the situation, so that hopefully next time, we can catch it sooner. So as much as I hate to admit when I'm not fully in control, I know that I am a student before anything else, a student of myself, a student of this Earth, a student of life, as we all are.
Now I feel like I'm just ranting, so I'm going to end it there, but again, please comment or message me if you feel any inkling to join in on this conversation - I would love to converse with you!
Goodnight you lovely beings!
Peace, love love love, and light
P.S. Join me on the mat tomorrow (Wednesday, May 17th):
5:00pm: Kids Yoga (4-8 years old) @ Yoga Source & Therapy Studio
7:00pm: Hatha Yoga @ Maxximum Fitness